I sat contemplating whether or not to write this down but I’m pretty sure typing it is the only way to really sort through it. That, and hopefully it’s a helpful reminder to other founders and also to people on my team as well.

Startups are hard. They’re hard on everyone around you. They’re hard on your friends. They’re hard on your family. They’re hard on your team.

They’re hard on you.

This has been an unbelievable few months at Dwolla.

  • We shipped a huge partnership with CME.
  • We shipped a huge partnership with BBVA.
  • We’re nowhere near done. There’s more on the way.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks doing back to back meetings with partners, the media, and the team. It’s one of the craziest rides I’ve ever been on and the end result is going to make peoples lives better.

Yesterday, we had an opportunity to speak publicly with the Federal Reserve, Amazon,and Bank of America about realtime and an astonishing thing happened. They agreed with us.

How could this get any better!? I’m proud of that.

As a founder, this is the stuff you always want to share. It’s big, it’s fantastic, and it’s a string of things that I probably couldn’t pull off ever again if I tried. It even follows the vision for why the company was founded in the first place.

On the flip side. I haven’t had real and extended quality time at home in weeks, or longer. I missed trick-or-treating and the costumes. I spent the little time I was at home in the last few weeks either sleeping or frantically preparing to leave. We added a curious new puppy to our family and I’ve done virtually nothing to help.

I haven’t seen my sister in a year. I’ve never met my niece. I haven’t seen my parents in months. My wife and I didn’t take a honeymoon and I’ve had too much going on in my head to even read the e-mails she’s sending me about where we should go. I can’t take or make personal calls because I’m rarely alone and when I am, I seek one thing… Silence…

The last time I got into the office I was too tired to say hello to anyone and went right to my office where I fell asleep on the floor. Prior to that floor I was sleeping on another floor in an airport. Once I awoke the fairly predictable river of coffee flowed quickly into my body so I could function until the next unavoidable crash occurred.

To some of you, this probably sounds all too familiar. This life is hard on you and everyone else just the same.

It’s pretty in the press. In practice… This shit is really hard.