Writing over the years has provided me a way to speak to myself, others, and sometimes to no one. It can feel a bit like yelling in the woods. I’ve never really been sure that anyone was going to hear what I yelled but it can feel pretty damn good.
It’s a great privilege to say what it is that you want to say. To have the freedom to do so and be exposed to people who can actually hear you. Not just your words but what they mean. I didn’t always have that privilege and maybe in my own complacency, I’ve gotten used to it.
I decided to shut a number of things down this weekend. A custom crypto project, another distributed database project, and canceled half a dozen services trying to give myself some space. Many of the things I shut off are nothing more than intellectual pursuits or fleeting ways of trying something new in order to see how it works.
I deeply enjoy understanding how things work.
I’ve tried to be critical about judging my contribution to various projects to make it quick to decide whether or not I should keep contributing to them. The question I keep asking myself is, “Is it in maintenance mode or is it in creation mode?”
If the project is in maintenance mode I’m shelving it, at least for now.
Creation takes time.
This blog has become more maintenance than creation and I think it’s because, at least for now, I don’t need to yell in the woods.